Why are we sparing two hours every day to fear women? Why are we listening to warnings left, right, and center to brace ourselves because men will embarrass us? What is with the endless He Vs She tug of war? There is trouble in paradise between the girl and boychild. Most of us long for meaningful connections in relationships. However, in the current heteronormative dynamic, the constant friction between misogyny and feminism has been a heavy barricade. We expect a kind of vulnerability we are not yet ready to offer. We proceed with caution having one foot in and the other out. We complain that these streets are dirty and the market is full of rotten goods.
People hide their partners like narcotics, fearing them “resembling” another person’s partner. No one wants anyone coming to them as a woman. When did it get so bad? Who shook the jar and left an ugly dent of trust issues. In an attempt at self-preservation, relationships have become superficial, fickle, short-lived, and hollow. How do we fix the damage and cease projecting our fears onto good potential partners? Undoubtedly, most people have faced horrendous character development, and they retreated to the streets, chose open relationships, or preferred eternal singlehood. Despite all this, some still long for true classical love, but we must embody it first to attract it.
We need a thorough introspection to examine which side of the street we have been standing on. How did we sever the relationships that did not work before? What qualities were we looking out for? How did we enable their failure? What was our value system then, and did it align with our exes? Do we have ourselves to blame for having blurred boundaries, lacking awareness and ignoring the cliché red flags that led to the trauma and fear of returning to the dating pool? Do we need to expand our fishing nets and push them deeper? Is our current mental paradigm sabotaging our attempts to find the ultimate one? Social media has become a masquerade party where we arrogantly express our indifference, self-sufficiency, and gangster attitude in regard to romance. People have been made to think that not caring is cool, but behind the scenes, they are simping cringingly. Let us stop lying to ourselves and actively pursue what we want. Our kindred spirits are out there. With mental health and emotional intelligence awareness, people are doing the work on themselves to lead fuller lives. Let us first find a haven within ourselves so that we are not empty souls seeking validation and saving from significant others. Our hearts need to come closer to the sleeves after healing. No magical connection will have a flimsy foundation; if it does not work out, we will know we tried. For the hopeless romantics, all hope is not lost.